The day dies young in winter, into the
dusky cold… o go inside it says,
make fire!
I am
declining,
remaining, out
beneath the indigo.
In this
descending,
thoughts and moods
laid low, as waiting, as dormant, the
silent length of nearing night is
hard, a rasp on the cheek, a
bite on the ear, but serene at the
sight of sharpened starlight. Venus is a
diamond and moon swells
luminous on game trails along the
ridge. The zenith of
existence is a
becoming fullness of this
life given. Its counterpart,
a pouring out of this life
given. For this, the wild God, in
and above all that is, spins the
earth while we notch our time into
seasons. The first to rise, ascend,
immortal against it all. The last, to walk
empty in the way of unity. We stop and
turn as does the sun into
the equinox, the paradox. We
seek to know what is most
ineffable. For we, each one, will at some
appointed moment, step out into the
winter night, stand still, know little.
There is a light of truth one can see
only in the dark.
Jim: This resonates well! I think lines 16-17 (“it seems a becoming fullness of this / one life given is the zenith of existence.”) would have more impact if changed from passive to active voice. I do like the poem!
Tom, I tinkered with that line for a while… not sure if I turned it all the way around or not. I really appreciate the workshop style assistance.
Jim: I like this better, The double connotation of “becoming” works well ( “attractive” and/or “actualizing”)